


Something New

by orbiting_saturn



Series: The Sassy Drabbles and Ficlets [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:41:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orbiting_saturn/pseuds/orbiting_saturn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Castiel returned, he was something new. Again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something New

When Castiel returned, he was something new. Again. For unknown eons, Castiel was an angel, constant and unchangeable, cold and obedient. Four years in the company of the Winchesters and Castiel has become a kaleidoscope, prismatic, color moving and riotous. Once an angel, then a rebel, rebel angel turned human, human angel rebuilt. He became a general, a traitor, a god and a madman. Castiel knelt as a penitent to creatures less than him and housed creatures greater. And then Castiel was a sinking ship, dipping under cold waters and abandoned to the black. 

Sam can relate. There’s no other lifeline that’s taken so many detours and careened off the map quite so wildly as Sam’s, none other than Castiel’s. Who would have thought that the boy with the demon blood would find a kindred spirit in a broken angel?

Now, Castiel is not quite an angel and he’s not quite a man. He isn’t a monster, but he’s not a saint either. Castiel can’t fly anymore, but he can still mask himself from detection. He can’t burn out demons, but he can bind them. Castiel can’t travel through time and journey to Heaven and Hell, but he still packs one hell of a punch and speaks languages that have been dead for centuries. What powers he retains aren’t waning, so Castiel remains this changed thing, half of what he was with no hope of becoming more. 

Castiel is not Dean’s friend anymore, but he’s Sam’s and that’s possibly the most jarring change of them all. Dean suffers Castiel’s company reluctantly, too hurt by his perceived betrayal, but unable to deny the calming effect he has on Sam.

Whatever Castiel is now, whatever he has been or will be, Sam will happily accept, so long as he stays. Sam only knows that when Castiel is with him, Lucifer is gone. Sam’s aware, in some vague way, that Lucifer is a product of his imagination, nothing more than a mocking embodiment of Sam’s tortured psyche. But if Lucifer is bad, then Castiel is the good. Lucifer is dark and Castiel is light. Even if the connection is just another creation of Sam’s half-gone mind, he can’t find any shame in the groaning relief it gives him. 

Castiel sleeps now, but must remain with Sam at all times. So, at first, they shared a room. Now they share a bed, or a pallet, two sleeping bags tucked side by side. If Sam wakes in the night, sweating and gasping from nightmares, one of them can reach for the other and all of the despair will just slip away under the slide of skin on skin. 

In the beginning, it was awkward, Castiel too far from human for comforting to come naturally. And for Sam, there was that bumbling shyness that only Castiel and pretty girls ever seemed to bring about in him. It took a surprisingly long time for Sam to make _that_ connection. It was Castiel who discovered that touch could ease Sam’s unpredictable anxiety attacks better than any soothing words.

It started out small and innocent, just the weight of Castiel’s palm curved around the nape of Sam’s neck. Then the tangle of their fingers beneath diner tables, once Sam was again fit for the outside world. In the night, it became bodies tucked together, Castiel’s face snugged against the line of Sam’s throat, hands slipping under shirts, legs twined together. Sam got drunk on Castiel’s breath across his face, started going stiff from the press of Castiel bones crushed against his muscles.

Castiel became hesitant for a while after that, drew back from touching until Sam reached out. That’s when Sam got greedy, grabbed at Castiel, sought out handfuls of skin and bone under the blankets and slithered closer, tighter. “I want you,” Sam sighed into Castiel’s hair. He’d already asked for so much, he could ask for a little more. 

“You can have anything, Sam,” Castiel answered, falling easily into the places Sam dragged him. “I didn’t want to assume.”

Sam would have crawled under Castiel’s skin then, if the other would only let him. He would have burrowed down, tucked safely inside and stayed happily, blissfully, forever. But in the end it was Castiel inside of Sam. It was Castiel over him, wet mouth and cradling hands, Castiel between Sam’s thighs, so careful and slow. 

Castiel became an anchor, pinned Sam to the Earth. Castiel became an animal, rutting deep and gnawing. Castiel became a hot burst of come, spending in and for Sam. And Sam became the same. They were something new. Again.


End file.
